I am not defined by a number

A wee emergency blog before I go and do something silly!!

I ordered a lovely dress online from Debenhams.  Size *insert your own choice of number*

I get an email today saying its ready to be picked up.... so I tootle along from work to get it.... I get it.... and tootle into the changing room. 

So far so good.

I open the pack to see my gorgeous, beautiful black dress with white edging staring back at me.

I unzip it.

It doesnt fit.  Its too big up top (damm small boobs) and far too tight at the bottom (fat legs apparently..).

So now I'm sat at work feeling a bit pants because my gorgeous dress doesnt fit me because of genetics and cup size.

ARRGGH

Return of the Kmac

Date: 24th March 2010
Weather:  Dry, cloudy but great running weather
Shoes:  My favourite black platformed shoes


Well good morning all!!  First of all I really should apologise for my hiatus from Blogland recently, I do have a couple of good reasons...

1) I've moved desks for 3 weeks and as a result I can't always blog in the morning like I used to do
2) I'm moving flat in less than 10 days so everything at home is starting to be packed up!
3) My dad was down visiting me (more on that later)
4)  I bought a new zoom zoom

So you can see its been pretty busy is Kmac land, and thats without the inclusion of my workouts.

Since my confessions post I've been far more aware of what I've been putting into my body and how I've been treating myself.  I even went so far as getting a facial and manicure recently to totally relax, I also got a sports massage for my lower back and also my shoulders to help loosen them up.

I've been getting to the gym more and been getting up in the morning far better.  I feel I have more energy and I'm not crazing coffee as much anymore.

I picked up my *BRAND NEW* car on Sat.  Shes called Milly, and shes a wee Mazda 2 so I've been zoom zoom (ing) - see what I did there..?! lol - around in her over the weekend, such a joy to drive a car that doesnt clunk/grind/rattle.   My weekend was a rather busy, stressful and chaotic one, I'll give you the run down now...

My dad came to stay over the weekend, not usually a problem. But we are in the midst of packing up the flat so there are lots of boxes around and my bedroom looks like I've been robbed!! My dad isn't the tidiest of people (neither am I to be fair) so his crap added to the crap in my room didn't help the stress level.  

I got so worked up on Friday night, that Saturday (the day Milly was born) I made myself really quite sick.  Went for dinner with dad to a lovely wee pub just about 10 mins drive from my flat,  after dinner I got home and spent most of the night on the bathroom floor!!

Sunday we were going for lunch, which was lovely, but again, I got stressed out about my dad and ended up being a bit of a cow for the duration of the lunch!!  We got home and dad decided he was going to check into a hotel because he could see I wasn't well, he tootled off to the hotel and I got a few hours to myself.... and a talking to about just relaxing.

So as you can see its been a bit of a roller coaster..!

Back to the land of the living now though.  Hope all is well with everyone.

Kmac xx

Dare to dream

Date:  10 March 2010
Weather:  Bright but cold
Shoes:  Grey fabric flats

Well its 2 days until I pick up my name car, her name shall be Milly the Mazda.  I'm looking forward to it, its been 7 years since I got a new car so I'm really really excited!!  Also my dad is coming down to visit me at the weekend so he'll be there when I pick up the new car.

I've not seen my dad since January so it'll be nice to spend some time with him and get him new clothes.  The reason for his visit is that he wants to start treating himself and getting new clothes.   Hes a 65 year old widower so this is a huge step for him and I'm so proud that hes starting to take it.  Baby steps is the best way forward.

Yesterday I ran 7.5km in under 50mins which for me is a new PB.  I want to run a 10k in under 65mins so I'm a bit off my target yet but I'm determined to get there.  My view is how can you ever achieve anything if you never have an ambition..?

Today marks 6 months exactly to the day until we start the Kilimanjaro climb and I cant wait.  I can't belive that a year ago we sat down and planned to do "something" for charity. But nobody really thought we'd be doing something this big.  And as the big day looms closer I'm not getting scared, I'm getting excited!!

Hope all is well in blog land

Kmac xx

New house.... New car!

Kmac has a new car!!!!!!!

This has been a pretty hectic year so far... new house and now a new car.   I went car shopping at the weekend for a new wee car since Chloe was slowly giving up the ghost (after 7 years solid service to me she's ready to go into retirement).

And I found my new, silver, shiny baby.   A mazda 2  Tamura.   I'm still undecided on the name yet, but I am thinking about Mervin or Milly.

Any suggestions bloggies??


In other news, I ran 7km this morning in the gym.  Not bad for being a bit hormonal and my head not really being 100% commited to a longer run.  I managed it in 42mins which is a new PB for me.  I'm not the worlds fastest runner and find it quite uncomfortable to run at a high speed, but I can maintain a decent enough pace for a while and inject some sprints to keep the heart rate high.


Hope everyone is well!

Kmac xx

Mojo is back

Date:  9 March 2010
Weather:  Dry, cloudy but birght enough.  Its getting lighter in the mornings so time to get running outside methinks.
Shoes:  Black stilletto platforms


I'm back!  The workout mojo is back! My desire to eat is back!  I think they all went on a wee vacation somewhere and have come back with a vengence.

Yesterday I was hoovering up any food I could get my hands on, bananas on toast (wholemeal bread), Claires oaty biccy she made me, soup and salad at lunch time, wholewheat pitta bread with peanut butter and some carrot sticks and then the left over from my spectacular dinner on Sunday night.

But that was all because I had a PT session with Andy.  At 6:30am I rocked up to the gym, knowing that last weeks combo of crap diet and lacklustre excercise would have me hating life in approx 20 minutes, but I turned up anyway and got to work.    60 minutes later I looked like I'd stepped out of the swimming pool but I felt amazing. 

Because its getting very close to Kilimanjaro climbing date alot of my training is working on fatiguing the muscles and then pushing them through endurance training.  I can feel the strength increasing in my legs and I've never felt my upper body feel stronger than it does now.  But there is still work to be done.

I need to start increasing my running distance so Andy has given me a running programme to follow on days when I'm not doing my programme.  I'll see if I can get my programme and scan it in so you can all see what I do.  There is so much on it I have to carry it around the gym with me as a prompt!! 

This morning I arrived at 6:30, starting to feel DOMS from yesterday but enjoying the burn sensation (because I'm a freak...!), walked up to the gym and started a nice easy 40 mins run.   10 mins in I decided to challenge myself, a 20 min sprint with only 1 rest/walk break allowed.  The result was 4.80KM in 29mins. And a very VERY red Kmac on the treadmill.

After my sprint I hopped off and did:

3 x 15 60kg legpress   (superset with)
3 x 30 "mountain climbers"

3 x 15 4kg lat raises (superset with)
3 x 15 25kg single arm pull downs

3 x 15 swiss ball situps (superset with)
3 x 15 cycle crunches


Then I trudged down from the gym to the changing room.   Fudgy will know exactly what I'm talking about when I say that the Grumpy old women were in.

Gym Ninja's blog mentions a variety of people that she spots in the gym, however in my gym we have none of these.  Instead we have "the complainers".  Every morning they arrive and do the same classes... moan about the choice of music/temperature in class/instructor... and leave.  COme back the next day and do the very same thing.  Regardless of who takes the class and what music is played, they ALWAYS have an issue.  I wouldnt mind so much if they did their moaning WHILE CLOTHED! These woman stand around starkers and whine about the class.  Why they need to shower is beyond me because its not like they actually work hard enough to break a sweat, the stairs up to the class are the most sweat inducing thing they do for the 40 mins they are in the gym.

So I put my changing routine into turbe and just legged it out the door.  I'm too young and innocent to see such sights.  However it does act as a reminder that we won't always be so taught and pert....

Have a wonderful day bloggies!

Kmac xx

Another Sunday - Another day to see my wares...

Date:  7 March 2010
Weather:  9 Degrees.... OMG its nearly summer!
Shoes:  Brown cowboy boots and then my dance shows

Well this has been a great weekend for me, I hope its been just as good for you all. 

Friday after work I went to see Alice in Wonderland in 3D which was just fantastic, so good that when someone in the audience got up to go to the loo, I thought they were actually part of the film!!  Then went for some dinner and I decided to indulge in 3 glasses of white wine.... which, for those who know me, is alot o wine for me. 

Saturday was a lovely relaxed day, including a late lunch, 2 dvds watched in bed and a guitar hero match - which was a draw by the way ;o)   I kicked some serious butt during Paramore - Misery Business... but did get my butt kicked during some random Oasis song.

And this brings me to today.....   Sunday.... the day of rest. Or, for myself and the cast of Jesus Christ Superstar, the full day rehearsal of our Rock Opera.

Today we were blocking 2 songs Temple (1 and 2) and also Simon Zealotes.  For anyone who isn't familiar with JCS the show the Temple scene is basically Jesus seeing all these people selling and trading and money lending in a temple, a place of worship, and he goes "rajj".  All types of people are in this temple, oil and olive sellers, money lenders, cloth sellers and whores....

Would anyone like to guess what I am...

Yup I'm a whore.  I get to wriggle about on stage standing on a table and propositioning most of the men on stage.  I cant say that I was totally upset at the idea, given that since audition day I've been adament that I want to be a tap dancing leper whore.  So I jsut need to get the tap dancing in there somewhere.  However I do feel sorry for a couple of the guys who didnt know what I was when I jumped off my "table" and started gyrating up and down their leg like a dog on heat - sorry sorry boys but you now know what I'm up to.  2 chickens and some oil will get you some quality wares.

If anyone wants tickets please let me know, this is gonna be an amazing show and I cant wait to get into the theatre and get back onto the stage.

I promised more pictures so here is a random picture.   This was taken the night of my work department Christmas party... I decided after about 5 vodkas that I wanted to try doing the PLANK on a chair.  This was the result.

I made the most amazing dinner tonight as well, but being the utter pie that I am I pretty much inhaled it the minute it was on the place.  But in essence it was meatballs with roasted courgette, onion, pepper, butter beans and kidney beans with a handful of pasta and some homemade tomato sauce! 

I've got my mojo back!

Have a gorgeous evening bloggies.

Kmac xx

Its Friday

Date: 5th March 2010
Weather:  Its Scotland.  Its March.... If I said it was sunny I'd be lying..
Footwear:  My black riding style boots.

Last night I had an epithany.  In order to be happy, you really have to strive to be comfortable with your failings.

I'm a happy person, annoyingly happy most of the time and like my sister put "I was brought up with a sister who lives in the land of Disney and believes world Peace will happen when Tinkerbell finds her fairy dust and sprinkles it on the world! FREAK x"    Isn't she a charmer !

My point is, how can you be happy with what you've got if you are constantly wanting things you'd never get?  You can never appreciate what you've got if you want something better.  

I've got amazing friends, supportive family, good health, a job that I enjoy doing and I live in a flat with 2 people who care about me so much that we fight about me making bad decisions!!  Of course there are things that I'd love to have, but would I hand over everything I have NOW for the things that I'd love to have... no.

I want skinnier legs -  I work out at the gym and if I get them I get them.  If not, I'm improving my overall fitness and having a great time doing so.

I want my happy ever after - But that will include my friends and family so I'm not going to alienate them or push them away.

I want a wardrobe full of designer clothes - But I'd rather not spend all my hard earned money on material to cover my body, I'd rather spend my time and money having fun and keeping in touch with my friends and have general clothes..

Do you all see where I'm getting at?   I hope so. 

Today is my rest day from the gym and I've so far had a great morning, got up at 7am (and not 5am!), headed to work and battered through my to do list before 9:40am.   Met fudgy for our usual morning coffee and brekkie catch up before heading back to our desks and now I'm updating you all!! 

Going to see Alice in Wonderland tonight, really excited.  I'm a HUGE  Burton/Depp/Bonham Carter fan and I love the story so fingers crossed this lives up to all the expectations and hype. 

Today marks the final 195 days until Kilimanjaro... less that 200 days to go now.  So the hill trianing starts very very soon.  Because of my show commitments  I'm not able to get up any hills until May but I've got every confidence that I'll do it. 

Hope you all have a great weekend and I'll try check in over the weekend.

Kmac xxx

Did you see I waved?

Date: 4th March 2010
Weather: A bit misty in Auld Reekie today
Shoes:  Black kitten heeled court shoes

Well last night I was back at Jesus Christ Superstar rehearsals and it felt good to get a good sing, although I suspect I was slightly off key given my wobbly throat and lack of water at rehearsal!!  We've got about 8 weeks to show time so its all go go go,  this is going to be one heck of a show though.  

Wednesdays and Sundays are pretty much off limits to anyone now until the show is over, singing on Wednesdays and blocking on Sundays (and a couple of Saturdays as well..!).  This means that my weekend training needs to be a bit more sneaky..

See I need to be at rehearsals at 11am on a Sunday and they are 1hr away from my casa.... my gym opens at 8am at the weekend ... soooooo  Kmac can roll up to the gym at 8:05 and punch through a 1hr work out, shower change, back to the casa, into the car and head to rehearsal.   

You see you can always fit in a workout regardless of what you are doing!

This morning I was up bright and breezy at 6am, headed to the gym and mananged....:

10mins level 11 on the cardio wave machine (burned a massive 165 cals!)
3 x 15 pressups
3 x 15 pull downs 37.5kg/35kg/32.5kg
3 x 16 Bosu Ball oblique crunches
3 x 15 5kg dumbell push press
3 x 15 5kg lat raises
3 x 15 pykes
3 x 20 Russian Twists
15 mins sprint (just to finish me off)

Just a quick hour in the gym but was enough to set me up for the day.  I've got a PT session on Monday am so dont want to hurt too much before that, because I know that come Tuesday morning I'll be lucky to walk!!

Hope you all had a fantasic day yesterday and are now on the slide to the weekend.  Yippeeee

Kmac xx

Confessions

Date:  3rd March 2010
Weather: Cold and bright.  Perfect morning to clear your head
Shoes:  HUUUGE black platforms from Topshop circa 2009


OK, this post is a confessions post....  recently I've been up to alot of things that, perhaps, I shouldn't have been so this is me hanging my dirty (training) laundry out for you all. 

• My diet has been dreadful.  In the past 5 days I've consumed 1/2 an indian take away, a total of 8 slices of pizza, 2 (big) bars of cookie crumble chocolate and 3 litres of diet coke.  And I wondered why I got heartburn yesterday...
• My want to train has gone.  I've lost it.  So if anyone sees a "training want" wandering aimlessly around Edinburgh please pass it back to me.  It might be with my motivation and mojo...
• I went on an ITunes binge and bought music I probably didnt need
• I've not been sleeping enough recently
• I've not been getting to the gym and dont really have any good reason not to go, however I've been finding reasons!
• My beautiful long nails are all split and bitten :o(
• I've not had a haircut in over 12 weeks...

So there you have it... my dirty laundry hung out for all to see!

I have a goal right now though... loose 1/2 a stone in 3 weeks and feel better about myself.   I'll be keeping a food diary (partly as I have to hand it to Andy every week now thanks to confession number 1) and I'll try to get it posted here so you can see how I'm getting on.

Anyone got anything they'd like to confess??

Kmac xx

Another night in my flat!

Date: 2nd March 2010
Weather:  Icy cold
Shoes:  Nike plus shox (pink)

Well I found my motivation (finally!!) and yesterday I managed to do the following in the gym in the morning
5k run - 34mins
1k high incline high speed walk -  8mins
Cardio Wave machine, level 13 SPM at 160 - 5 mins  then dropped to level 10 with SPM 130 - 5mins
5kg lat raises - 12 x 3
6kg lunge and press 15 x3
(proper) pressups 15 x 3
37.5kg pull down 15 x3

And then at lunch time I did a spin class.  

Overall a great day for getting back on the band wagon and I'm starting to feel it slightly today.

Last night I started clearing through some of my stuff getting ready for the flat move, and 4 bags of rubbish later you still wouldnt know I have removed anything.  I have too much stuff.  Actaully its not "stuff", its clothes!!    As I was doing this myself and my flatmates decided to whack on some Rhianna "Rude Boy" which ended up in us all doing a very strange dance routine around the house...  Poor wee Charlie the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel could just sit and look at us like we were insane.

So a Kmac challenge is to try and thin down my thighs AND my wardrobe :o)

I apologise for the lack of pictures recently, a combination of nothing to photo and technical issues is to blame.  But dont worry, I'll be back on the picture train very very shortly.

Hope everyone is relaxed from the weekend, and Monday came and went without much fuss.

Kmac xx